David and Jonathan: Covenant Friends
1 Sam 20
Regional Prayer Meetings
We’ve been talking about how God runs the show, how we are weak but He is strong. One expression of this faith is that we would pray, we would seek and call upon the One who runs the show, we would turn from self-reliance to God-dependence.
We’ve been looking at Psalms in our small groups, and these are David’s prayers. I hope we’re learning a little about prayer from David and the Psalms.
We’ll have a season of prayer, 3 Wednesdays, in 5 different areas.
I’d like to invite, call on all of us to come and pray together.
Let me add, the session feels strongly that we as a church need to more humbly and earnestly seek God. God needs to rekindle spiritual hunger and renewal, God needs to wake some of us from spiritual complacency, laziness.
Let me put it this way, how many of us would describe our personal spiritual lives as going well, vibrant, fruitful? We fear there aren’t too many.
Let’s pray, let’s seek God together. He promises ask, seek, knock, and we’ll receive; even more than our earthly fathers, our Heavenly Father desires to give us good things, the HS, to those who ask.
The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. ~Elbert Hubbard
Friendship isn't a big thing - its a million little things. ~Author Unknown
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
The story of David and Jonathan is a beautiful picture of deep and committed friendship. We want to look at that friendship today.
Saul wants to kill David.
P. Dwight mentioned last week how envious Saul was of David. It was a poison for his soul, so much so that Saul repeatedly tries to kill David: he twice throws a spear at him, he sends David on military campaigns so the Philistines might kill him, he offers his daughter in marriage to get David to battle more Philistines in hopes he’d be killed (1 Sam 18). In 1 Sam 19, Saul again tries to spear David, sent men to David’s house to assassinate him, sent men to where David fled to Samuel at Ramah to kill him there. Eventually Saul himself goes to Ramah to kill David, but the Spirit of God comes upon him and he is immobilized and prophesizes.
The main storyline is Saul’s repeated attempts at trying to kill David. Saul will stop at nothing to have David killed.
This chapter has 4 scenes
1-11 This chapter picks up the story with Saul prophesying at Ramah and David fleeing back. He goes to Jonathan. David tries to convince Jonathan that Saul really is set on killing him. The main action in this chapter is a demonstration to Jonathan Saul’s hatred and murderous intentions for David.
David sets up a test. There’s a festival, and he’s supposed to be there, but he won’t be. Jonathon is to say that David asked permission to go to his hometown for an annual sacrifice. If Saul loses his temper, that’s an indication of how Saul feels about David.
12-23 They’ve moved out to a field. Jonathan assures David that if Saul is intent on killing him, he sure certainly let David know. In case it becomes unsafe for Jonathan to tell David directly, they designate a signal. David would be hiding in a field. Jonathan will come out and shoot 3 arrows. If he says to his servant boy, “Look the arrows are on the side,” that means it’s safe. If he says, “Look, the arrows are beyond,” that means David must flee for his life.
24-34 We’re at the festival and David is absent. On the second day, Saul finally asks Jonathan if he knows where David is. Jonathan gives the excuse, and Saul explodes in anger (read vv. 30-31). Jonathan tries to defend David, and Saul throws his spear at Jonathan.
35-42 The next morning Jonathan goes out and shoots his arrows. “Isn’t the arrow beyond you?” After retrieving the arrow, the boy is sent back. Then David comes out of his hiding place and they embrace, kiss and weep together. And David then flees for his life and begins a long chapter of living as a fugitive from the hand of Saul.
David’s Innocence and Saul’s Hatred
This chapter is to vindicate David. David is not a fugitive because of some crime or disloyalty. The only reason why David is an outlaw is because Saul hates him. In demonstrating Saul’s heart to Jonathan, it is a demonstration to the reader that David has not sinned against Saul. Rather, Saul sins against David.
This is part of a larger story about the rise of David and the fall of Saul.
Covenant Friendship
This chapter is about friendship but more explicitly covenant. Formalized commitment.
18:3-4 Right after David slays Goliath, Jonathan makes a covenant with David.
Covenant: like a marriage, an explicit commitment, a formal pact.
Robe, tunic, sword, bow and belt.
David acknowledges the covenant
Jonathan made a covenant and David reaffirmed his oath (2 sided)
Jonathan: the matter discussed (covenant), LORD is our witness
Jonathan’s parting words: ‘sworn’ friendship; Lord is our witness
David and Jonathan weren’t just friends. They were “blood brothers.” They had taken a vow to be loyal to each other.
This is not a Hollywood drama with background music on the emotional tie between these two. Consider a different time and culture when sentimentality wasn’t stressed.
We live in a time where we’re high on sentiments and low on commitments. Romance, friendships take on strong emotional dimensions, and on the other side, we don’t like to take on obligations. Even marriage is not that sacred or permanent.
This is a picture of commitment and devotion. We have an extended picture of a covenant friendship.
But we lose out on being so afraid of committing ourselves to people.
Covenants are made for the hard times.
It is in the midst of such dangers that David and Jonathan explicitly affirm their commitment to each other. This is the time they need to know that they have each other, that they will be loyal.
When David is strong and safe, popular and powerful, he can enjoy the people around him. But in the hard times, when his life is on the line and his enemies literally want his head, that’s when you need to know whom you can trust, who is loyal and committed to you. You don’t need friendly acquaintances. You need safe and loyal allies.
During all these murder attempts, to whom does David run? He runs to Samuel, and then he runs to Jonathan. These are safe, secure friendships.
A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. ~Grace Pulpit
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)
In Jonathan, David has a committed friend. David believes that at a time when the king wants his head, Jonathan is safe, someone he can trust.
I just want to pause and invite us to take inventory of our relationships.
There are some friendships where you enjoy one another, but you know there’s no real commitment, no obligations, no long-term expectations. There are others that you know, they’re with you for the long haul.
In your darkest moments, when you feel your problems are overwhelming and the world seems against you, do you have a friend like this? Do you have a friend who loves at all times, who sticks closer than a brother?
It doesn’t matter so much in the good times, but in the hard times, you need to have those friends. That’s not the time to form those friendships. Those friendships need to be in place before the storm. That’s a lesson I learned over the years. I’ve had some up’s and down’s over the years, and I realized that when things are really down, I have a very short list of people I feel I could really lean on, with whom I’d feel comfortable bearing my soul with.
To generalize, I think women are much more intentional about seeking and forming those kinds of friendships. Guys tend not to have deeper relationships where they can go to each other about personal, vulnerable things.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)
That’s what marriage is supposed to be. In our marriage vows, we’ve said, for better or for worse, in sickness or health, we’re committed to each other. You don’t need marriage vows if life is always easy. You need marriage vows for the storms, the troubles, when everyone else has left us, we say, we’ll never leave.
Let me add, this is true even for those troubles within the marriage. Covenants are made not for when the marriage itself is sweet and strong, but for when things are difficult and bitter. Covenants say, we’re committed to each other, and we’re going to work this out. I’m not going to, I’m never going to give up on this marriage. That is simply not an option. I’m committed to you.
Covenants are made for the hard times.
Covenants are a reflection of God.
The story of the Bible is God’s covenant with us, how He has committed himself to us. In the OT, that God is a covenant God is woven into the story from beginning to end.
Jonathan’s commitment to David is a picture, a reflection of God’s commitment to David.
The reason why marriage is sacred is because it is an explicit metaphor for God’s commitment to us. It is meant to be a picture of God.
For some of us even now, we need to be reminded of God’s committed love for us. As we go through lonely times, or academic struggles, or financial stresses, or marriage struggles, we have a God who is committed to us, who is committed to us in the hard times. He never abandons us.
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Heb 13:5)
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isa 49:15)
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Ro 8:38-39)
It is often through human love and friendships, through marriage, that we taste, experience, get a picture of God’s love and friendship with us.
Looking back on my life, I can think of a handful of people who showed me deep and committed friendship. People who had given me really generous gifts, who were deeply loyal, who
We’re to have friends we can turn to, but we want to remember that ultimate, we have God, our greatest friend, we can turn to. Our other friends are arrows, reminders of the friendship we have with God.
God-Centered Friendship
In some ways, I know that to speak of this kind of deep love and commitment sounds gay in our day. But I’d like to point out that the friendship and love wasn’t just about two guys that really like each other. It was about two guys that both had a passion for God.
18:1-4 Why did Jonathan make that covenant? What attracted Jonathan to David? The text is not explicit, but I think it’s because Jonathan just saw David’s incredible faith and zeal for God.
Jonathan will not see David again after this chapter, except for one time. David is fleeing from Saul and Jonathan seeks him out and “helps him find strength in God” (23:16)
20:14-15 David is the one whose life is in danger, but Jonathan asks David for kindness, kindness for him and his family. Jonathan knows that David’s enemies will be destroyed. Jonathan knows that David will become king.
20:31 Saul also knows that David is anointed to become the next king, and he sees it as a direct threat to his kingdom. That is why David must be killed. Saul was trying to kill David so that Jonathan would be the next king.
Jonathan is supposed to be the next king, but Jonathan relinquishes his throne and acknowledges that David would be the next king.
Last week we heard how Saul was so threatened and envious of David. Jonathan, on the other hand, willingly surrenders his throne to David.
I think this is partly Jonathan’s love for David, but I also think its Jonathan’s trust and love for God. It is God’s will, not my will, God’s kingdom not my kingdom. Jonathan submitted to the fact that God runs the show, this is God’s show.
Jonathan and David shared a love and zeal for God. This was not a friendship based on a common love for shopping or eating out or snowboarding or fantasy football. This was based on a common love for God.
Have you met someone who really does love God, and you’ve found that attractive?
I can think of a short list of people who I’ve meet who I would say clearly have a genuine and sweet love for God. They really love Jesus: John Piper, Dad; my seminary chaplain, a deaconess I know. I remember seeing a preacher, and I felt like his sermon was not very exposition, and we probably had differences in our theology, but I said, this man loves Jesus.
May I encourage us to promote such friendships. Seek to form friendship with those whom you feel really do love Jesus, and be a friend who loves Jesus.
In your small groups, yes, hangout and have fun. Enjoy some meals and activities, but let there be a growing desire and sense that Christ the common passion, the common goal.
Maybe for some of us, this is something that would really help us, to have a deep and genuine friendship that is based on a desire for God (pray for this).
For me, I have pastor friends with whom I really enjoy discussing theology, preaching, and ministry. But perhaps that’s a little unfair—most of you wouldn’t are readily have those kinds of conversations or relationships.
But perhaps closer to the picture of David & Jonathan, I remember in college have a few friends with whom we would regularly share about what God was teaching us. I’d share about my QT or thoughts from a bible study or sermon, he’d do the same. I felt like we were letting each other in on what our personal relationship with Jesus looked like.
God’s Kingdom, not Mine
Let me zoom in on that aspect of Jonathan where he willingly surrenders his throne to David out of his love and trust in God.
It is God’s will, not my will, God’s kingdom not my kingdom.
Sometimes, these two overlap. I want to see Renewal grow and thrive, I want to see lives changed. But do I want this because I desire God’s kingdom, or because I’m building my own kingdom?
The test comes when it’s another church, another pastor, another ministry, and God says, I will use them, I will anoint them. Do I give up my place and bless the other pastor/ministry, or do I feel envious and threatened? Whose kingdom am I building?
Sometimes the battle is more obvious.
Our time, money, energy; our grades, career, marriage, children—are these spent to build our own kingdom, our own fame, wealth, comfort, etc. Or are we submitting to a greater Kingdom purpose? Does it show in our schedules and checkbooks? Is it reflected in our career choices, in what we’re looking for in a spouse, in the values we’re instilling in our children?
Jonathan is a great picture of, God’s kingdom, not my kingdom.
How well do we do in promoting God’s kingdom and not our own kingdom?
In the end, the main thing is not that we should try harder to serve God’s kingdom, or that we should try harder to have more God-centered friendships.
The main thing is not admiring how great a friend Jonathan was to David.
Nor is it to wish I had a Jonathan, or I wish I could be a Jonathan.
The main thing is, the story of the Bible, the Gospel, is that Christ is your Jonathan. Christ is your covenant friend.
He’s the one who said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”
He’s the one who said, not my will but yours be done, and he died to give us the throne.
He’s the one who laid down his life to demonstrate His love for us (Ro 5:8).
This is Gospel living. We see who He is and what He does; we see this is the story of what He does for us. This is the “living out of what we have already received.”
And when He really is our faithful friend, we want to build His Kingdom, we want to have friendships on a common love and desire for God.