Our New Chapter: Sacred Families
Family & Children’s Ministry, September 2
Dt 6.4-9, Eph 5:22-33 (23, 24, 25, 32)
Welcome!
We’ve moving forward on a new chapter in our history,
we new stage of development and growth, and again in Sept, a new focus on and
implementation of our vision, which is to renew lives in Christ to transform
our city and the world.
We believe that these various ministries [Joe Renewal
Chart], working together, would accomplish our vision. We want to present these various ministries in
our church to understand what we’re hoping to do and what changes are being
made as we move forward on our vision.
If you are new, welcome. We hope this Sunday and the following Sundays
will give you a better understanding of what Renewal is about.
Today we want to share with you about our children and
family ministries.
[John Applegate: Children’s Ministry Presentation]
Family
Ministry
As part of our ministry to renew lives in Christ,
we’re going to talk about Children and Family Ministry. This is long overdue!
For a long time I’ve heard parents crying, “Help! Our
kids are still so innocent and moldable, and we’re not sure how to teach them,
raise them. We don’t necessarily want to
duplicate what our parents did. We
believe there’s a better way, a more biblical way, but we don’t have the role
models, we don’t know what to do, and honestly, so many of us are just trying
to survive. We want so much more for our
children, but we need help.”
Plus, it’s been hard spiritually. It takes so much just to get through the day
(especially for moms).
Troubled marriages
at Renewal. In recent months, my
wife and I have been a part of numerous conversations with different members
about marriage struggles. And these are
not fringe people. They are what we would
call mature Christians, leaders in the church, struggling in their
marriages. We have a culture of privacy
and covering things up. It’s hard to
talk openly about problems, but the gospel should free us from worrying about
what people think and should help us be quick to acknowledge that we have
problems.
Family
Ministry Vision
To help families mature in their relationship with
Christ so that
couples will grow in union and Christlikeness,
parents will disciple their children,
families will actively participate in the work of the
church.
Foundation:
Relationship with Christ/Spiritual Vitality
We believe that biblical marriages and parenting will
be the natural by-product of spiritual vitality. We believe marriages and families will be
stronger when Christ is in His proper place.
Problems that arise in families usually have a deeper,
spiritual root. Spiritual/character
immaturity problems often manifest themselves in marriage or parenting
problems. (Lk 6:43-45)
God has given us marriage more for our spiritual
growth than even personal happiness.
Strengthen Marriages
Spiritual Vitality
To help us understand that the real focus is on our
relationship with God, and to help us to see God in our marriages. To expose and address deeper spiritual
problems that often hurt marriages.
Biblical Marriages
To help us see how marriages are a picture of the
Gospel. To help husbands serve and
sanctify their wives, help wives support and encourage the spiritual leadership
of their husbands.
Train Parents
We
believe parents have the primary responsibility and influence in the spiritual
development of their children. We do not
believe the role of parents is simply to take their kids to church. Rather, the church’s role is to support and
assist the parents in their discipleship ministry of their children.
Participate in the work of the church
To
help families see that they are not customers of a family-services provider,
but are the people of God (individuals and families) serving the purpose of God
on earth. They are the church. We want
families, as families, participate in
Evangelism
& discipleship
Serving
our community, in word and deed
Spreading
the gospel to the nations, in word & deed
The two big action
pieces
So we’re starting Family Life [picture?], our monthly
meeting, Sept 8,
3.5 hours is a lot of time; not a short event
But 3.5 hours/month to make a difference is not a lot.
We’re also looking to get some pastoral help, perhaps
finding someone (older) who can be something of a part-time family
pastor/consultant for us.
I’d like us to consider the Sacredness of the family.
Church and Family as the two institutions explicitly
created by God.
There is something of the very nature of God/gospel in
microcosm.
Parents have
a God-given role for the spiritual formation of their children.
We’re to love our God.
“But
the demands of Yahweh’s covenant are to be the subject of conversation at all
times in the home, by the way, by night and by day.
Some are absorbed with shoes, hair products, shopping,
golf, cars, cell phones, fantasy football, food. They meditate on these day and night. They have posters to remind them, various
shirts and caps with their favorites teams or players, various catalogs around
the house. They check certain websites
daily. They talk about their food
cravings and meals all the time.
That is what we’re to be with God and His Law.
God
wanted His people to have constant reminders of Himself and His Word. He wanted them to think about them, talk
about them, teach them, etc. Perhaps we
might consider incorporating more of God’s law into our hearts, minds, lives, to raise the value of God’s Word in our
lives.
We’re to teach our children. The home was meant to be a place of spiritual
formation
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that
you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your
heart as long as you live. Teach them to
your children and to their children after them. (Dt 4:9)
In the future, when your son asks you, “What is the
meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded
you?” 21 tell him: “We were
slaves of Pharaoh in
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie
them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach
them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you
walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your
houses and on your gates, 21 so
that your days and the days of your
children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your
forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. (Dt. 11:18-21)
For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the
way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring
about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
(Genesis 18:19)
Homes were meant to be spiritual training centers and
parents were meant to disciple their children.
Parents
are the single most important factor in the development of a person.
Parents
are the single most important factor in the spiritual development of a person.
Parents
are (to be) the church’s primary ministers of their children. (Ben Freudenburg)
I
saw my father love the Word of God. He
was a preacher, and he was always studying it, talking about it, writing verses
to put on the wall. He kept telling me
how the Bible is the answer to everything.
And I saw how he tried to live it out.
He would be quick to point out how we didn’t want to do things the
Korean way or the American way, but the Biblical way. He taught me not just what the Bible said. He taught me how to respect, value, to love God’s
Word.
A.) Christian
Education. We’ll be hearing more
about this, but one thing we want to start is a Christian Education
ministry. I hope as a church we can
gain and nurture a love for God through a love for His Word. In particular, I want to encourage parents to
come. We need to grow in our love for
God and His Word.
B.) “Parents were
to impress this word on their
children’s minds and make it the subject of natural everyday conversation
within family life.”
We’re supposed to be immersed in God’s commands, to
love Him wholeheartedly, to talk about Him naturally and frequently, and to
seek to obey Him out of our love for Him.
What’s inside of us is to come out of us. Parents have a high calling to not just love
the Lord, but also to impart and impress this on our children. Some things are caught, not taught. As mentioned, it starts with own relationship
with God, our own spiritual vitality.
We believe our families are supposed to be place for
spiritual formation.
Marriage is
a reflection of Christ and the Church
23 For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body,
of which he is the Savior. 24 Now
as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands
in everything.
25 Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
32 This is
a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. (Eph 5:23, 24, 25, 32)
Marriage is to reflect the gospel. There are many aspects of this, and we’ll
explore this more in future Family Life meetings. Let me give one example: Marriage is to be
a place of love already given.
On a wedding day, a groom says to his bride, “I
promise this day to love you, until death do we part.” It is not just a declaration of present love;
it is also a promise of future love. “I
love you today and I love for every day hereafter.”
Do you understand what that means? That bride doesn’t have to do anything to be
loved. She doesn’t have to cook or
clean, doesn’t have to buy birthday gifts or fold laundry. In fact, she can be unkind, uncaring,
unattractive. He just promised he would
love her always, no conditions. She
doesn’t have to do anything; the promise is already made. Love is already given.
In the OT there is a story about a wife of a prophet
who is a harlot. She sells her body to
different men for a night of pleasure. She
is openly unfaithful and promiscuous. Guys,
what would you do if your wife was for sale?
But the prophet takes her back.
It was meant as a picture reflection of Christ/God and us/His
people—that His love is committed. The
promise is made, the love is unconditional.
God says, “I upset with your unfaithfulness. I hate this sin. But I can’t stop loving you, and I will
always take you back.”
Janette’s 3rd pregnancy was the worst of
the three. She was very nauseous, at
some points vomiting several times a day.
She was so sensitive to smells that once she just opened the
refrigerator and then turned to vomit into the kitchen sink. On top of nausea and fatigue, she had a 1.5
and 3.5 year old, both of whom were high-energy, rambunctious little boys.
Forget about cooking meals or cleaning the house, it
took all she had to just take care of Elijah and Caleb and endure her own
pregnancy. She was nauseous, exhausted,
and very cranky! So there I was, doing
as much as I could to get the two boys off her hands, cook our meals, and take
care of the house. That she was cranky
was more than understandable, but after months and months of it, I must confess
it put some stress on our marriage.
But the marriage commitment, marriage love says, I
love you even when you’re pregnant, snappy, and cranky. I love you even when you’re not able to help
me, even when I’m exhausted too.
You don’t have to do anything to be loved. I’ve already committed my love to you.
In a healthy marriage, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t
serve, that doesn’t mean she sleeps around.
It means she does serves and remains faithful. She does so because she is already loved, not
because she’s trying to gain love.
It is a different kind of serving, a different kind of
living. And that’s the gospel.
Galatians 5:13, You,
my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the
sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
We are free, free to serve one another, not in fear or
guilt. We serve one another in love.
If you’re not a Christian, we want you to understand,
we believe that because of Christ, we are already loved and accepted. We serve, pray and worship, not to gain God’s
favor, but because we already have God’s favor.
It’s like having a spouse who is so committed, so loving and accepting,
so devoted, even when we mess up. We’re
free and secure.
In other religions, they have to do something to gain
God’s favor. It’s about being good
enough, about our performance. But the
Christian Gospel is about freedom in the security of committed love. Last week we said that the Gospel is mainly a
story about what God has given and what we’ve received.
For Christians, our marriages are supposed to be a
living picture of the Gospel.
We
see flaws and failures in one another.
Perhaps we even have deep wounds, it’s hard to forgive. It’s impossible to forgive. But this is where the Gospel must come to
bear. Our marriages are supposed to
illustrate grace, forgiveness, committed love—just like grace, forgiveness and
committed love our Jesus gives to us.
NonChristians
should better understand the Gospel
by seeing our marriages, because our marriages are to picture Christ and the
Church.
Christians, through our marriages, we ourselves are to better understand
the Gospel and how Christ relates to us.
Marriage is a sacred thing.
The Church
works together for the greater mission and for the building of godly families.
Most of us are not married or have kids. And in some ways, this message may not seem
that relevant to us. But I want to help
us gain a better understanding of what it means to be the church, and that’s a big thing for us at Renewal.
College: Welcome. We hope you learn what it means to be part of
a church, which is more than a youth group or parachurch ministry. We want you to gain a love for the Bride of
Christ, for which He gladly laid down his life.
Many of us have an individualistic, self-centered view
of church. Church is mainly about
ourselves.
But I want us to see that there is something bigger
than yourself (privately). There is a
greater body, a greater, and we’re called to be one body, to be team players,
to work together for the success of the whole team.
It is not okay for college students to only care about
college ministry, and for 20’s and 30’s to only care about 20’s and 30’s
ministry, and for families to only care about family ministry. That’s not how a church is supposed to
operate.
We have to care for the whole church, and we all have
to work together to accomplish the greater mission of the church. Football: kickers have to kick, receivers
have to catch, linemen have to block, quarterbacks have to throw. Offensive team, defensive team, special
teams. We all have to do our part for
the team to succeed.
We need everyone to play their part and do what they
can for the team to succeed. This has
broad implications for all the various ministries at Renewal, but let me spell
it out as it relates to children and family ministry.
[Generalization] A lot of families don’t have a lot of
time. Having an infant or toddler, or
two or three of them—it consumes all your time.
For a long season, there really is no freedom, no personal life. But some of these families give what they
can. Some are small groups leaders, some
are deacons, some are elders. They are
the older members and leaders of our church.
And they give financially. To be
blunt, human speaking, we wouldn’t have the staff we have or some of the
ministries we have without the families.
Singles. Many
singles, especially student, don’t give a lot of money (although there are many
exceptions). But we have many singles who
give enormous amounts of time and energy (some singles, like families, don’t
have time in their schedules and are not available). They run the committees, they serve as small
group leaders, praise team members, Sunday School teachers, QV staff, etc.
One day when these singles have families, they won’t
be able to do what they’re doing now. A
lot of the families used to do that too, when they were young and single.
We do what we can; we have to be good team players. And we are dependent on the rest of the body
to be good team players too. We have to
be united, work together as a church, not just think individualistically, if
our church is going to move forward, achieve our vision. We believe its as each member does their
part, using their gifts and passions, working together, that’s how we’ll reach
our vision and change the world.
It would be selfish and immature for families to say I
only want to give my offering for ministries to me and my peer, just as it
would be immature and selfish for singles to say, I only want to give my time
to the ministries that only serve me and my peers. That’s not being a team, that’s not being a
body. We give our time, money, prayers,
energy for the whole church so that the greater body, the greater team can
succeed.
Whenever we have Infant baptisms, we ask the church,
“Will you assist the parents in the Christian nurture of this child.” We commit ourselves collectively to work
together to spiritually raise that child.
That’s what it means to be part of a community, that’s what it means to
be the church.
For our children and family ministries to succeed, we
need help—it is a church-wide effort.
We need Sunday School teachers. But also, now we need people to help with
childcare for our monthly Family Life meetings. We’ll also need childcare help for Christian
Education classes so that parents can participate. I’m asking for the church to work together so
that these families can be renewed in Christ, so that the next generation will
grow in strong Christian families.
[email the office]
And I’m also asking families to be supportive of the
college ministry, the 20’s and 30’s ministry.
There’s one dad who expressed interest in somehow getting involved with
the college ministry, and I was so encouraged.
There is a sacredness to the family.
Parents have a God-given role for the spiritual
formation of their children.
Marriage is a reflection between Christ and the Church
The Church works together for the greater mission and
for the building of godly families.